Is your child too stubborn? The habit of persistence in children can occur from childhood. But you may feel relieved to know that many parents are facing the same problem. The way you raise your child ascertains how they will grow up. In this article, we will talk about how to deal with a stubborn child?
Childhood and adolescence are Important and Difficult times to handle children and teach them good things. It is vital to understand that stubbornness is a part of the personality of some children.
Before we talk about how to deal with a stubborn child, let us pay attention to the following signs of Stubborn behavior of a child.
Signs Of A Stubborn Child
- The child is extremely intelligent and creative.
- The child gets angry again and again.
- Questions everything that makes a child look like a rebel.
- He is very independent.
- The stubborn child always wants to be heard and wants other’s attention.
- The child remains committed to his task.
- A stubborn child does not hesitate to get what he has already decided in his mind, no matter how much difficulty he has to face.
Stubborn behavior can occur at any age in childhood or adolescence. This behavior can last until the age of an adult. It is vital as a parent that you do not put too much pressure on your children and also help to change their stubborn behavior. The following are some ways to deal with a stubborn child.
How To Deal With A Stubborn Child?
Distract Their Attention
There may be some situations in which you and your child would not agree with each other. So, instead of arguing with him/her, try to distract them in some other more Interesting activity or try to play with them. For example, let us say, he wants to play a video game but you want him to go to bed, in that case, do not argue with him. Instead, try to divert his mind from video games to something else, it will make him forget the idea of playing a video game.
Do Not Punish Them
Punishing them will turn their behavior worst. There are higher chances that they may start getting offending more with time. Understand that punishment is not a perfect way to handle a stubborn kid. Make them understand the consequences of good and bad for their actions.
Understand the Mentality of Your Children
If your child is very stubborn, then, first of all, try to understand the reason behind his such behavior and what is the thing that is making him so Stubborn. There is a slight difference between determination and stubbornness.
Determination is defined as a ‘strong motive’ while being stubborn is ‘refusal to change a thought, behavior, and external pressure.’
Persistence in children can be genetic, or they may learn this behavior by observing others. So, closely monitor all these things.
Avoid Arguments With Stubborn Child
Stubborn children are always ready for arguments. So, avoid allowing them to argue. Always listen to your child calmly and turn it into a conversation rather than arguing. When you show your child that you are ready to listen to his or her side, there are higher chances that he/she will listen to you too.
You can put yourself in their position, what would be your reaction when you want to argue with someone but another person instead of arguing start listening to you and start having a conversation with you. Yes, you will feel better and relaxed. Now that is what you are supposed to do with your child.
Never leave a single chance to praise them. A kid always performs better when feels appreciated. So, always find new ways to praise them for their work.
Have A Good Connection
Stop forcing the child to do what he does not want to do. Because of this, the child may oppose you, and he will insist on doing what he should not do. If you want your child to focus on his homework instead of watching TV, then try watching TV with the child for a while. It will bring a sense of friendship between both of you, and after some time, you can take a book near him and start reading or do some other work. Children copy what they see around. So, he will start reading too.
I guess we all get attracted to the thing, that we cannot have, but ever thought about what would have happened once you had what you wanted? Maybe, you would not like to have it. The same thing happens with stubborn kids. They sometimes get more attracted to something that they are asked not to do.
Give Your Stubborn Child A Choice
Asking the child what he wants to do can increase his inflexibility. Instead of doing this, you can give him two options and give him the freedom to choose one. With this, your child will feel his right over his life and can take any decision he wants freely. If you don’t want your child to be puzzled, then you limit your choices and ask him to choose.
Place Yourself At The Child’s Place
Try to look at the problem from the child’s point of view and understand why he is behaving in a certain way. If you have promised him that, you will buy him something, but perhaps you have not done so due to any reason, then you will have to explain to him why it is not possible to fulfill the promise, this way you can handle the stubborn child smoothly.
Keep The Peace At Home
Make sure your home is a place where your child feels happy, comfortable, and safe at all times. Be polite to everyone in the house when children are around because children learn by watching you. They imitate what they see, so it is necessary that you keep peace and do not use negative words in front of the child.
The way you behave around a child does not just affect his behavior but it also affects their mental health. There are chances that they may turn out to be an overthinker who thinks negatively about all the situations or they may face depression.
Make Your Conversation Effective
If stubborn children ask for something, it is difficult for them to hear ‘no.’ Now just analyze how many times in a week you use the word ‘no’ in front of your kid. Many times I guess. Hearing no, again and again, make them frustrated and unwanted. AVOID SAYING NO all the time.
Instead of being rude, try to explain to them with love that why he cannot have what he has been asking. It will make him feel important.
Encourage Positive Behavior
Set an example from your behavior and illustrate a positive attitude at all times. If you mostly use words negative words.
Your child is likely to do the same. Notice the stubborn nature of your child to improve his behavior rather than using negative terms.
Never Shout At Them
It’s highly recommended that you don’t shout at kids. It will affect their mental health, and they will learn the same thing from you and there is no doubt in saying that they will shout back one day.
Make Them Follow A Routine
Staying consistent on a weekly routine can improve your child’s behavior as well as performance in school. Pay attention to kids’ rest time, and it should be such that your child gets loads of rest. Physical health is important to keep mental health healthy.
Support Your Kids And Their Decision
Many times, parents do not support the choices made by their kids. Be it their career, or any other big choice they make for their life. Parents preassume that they are more experienced in life. So, their decision is much better than their kid’s decision. But, doing so will make them more stubborn, and it will also distract them from their career. Always be a supportive pillar for them. Let them live and experience life on their own.
Set Fines, And Rewards
Stubborn children need rules. So, set boundaries and say your expectations among family. Continuity is vital, but there should be no rigidity. It is also important to be kind and easy at times, especially when you are on vacation or occasions when your child displays exemplary behavior.
The stubborn nature of the child is not a bad thing. It has been observed that children who have these characteristics may achieve many achievements in their lives.
Make a habit of good discipline and understanding your child can make him a responsible and determined person.
Disclaimer: This information is only a guide and is not a substitute for the advice of a qualified professional physician.
I hope my article on how to deal with a stubborn child was helpful to you.
Let me know in the comment section how do you handle your stubborn child?
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Also Read: Time Management Tips