How To Forgive Yourself? – Self-forgiveness

how to forgive yourself? Sometimes we make such a mistake that we cannot stop thinking about it. No matter how hard we try, we always start connecting things with the mistakes we made in our past and start regretting the same. Today, in this article I am going to share my experience which might help you to forgive yourself.

Why is it important to forgive yourself and let go of your mistakes?

We all make mistakes, no one in the world is perfect. We all learn new things and while learning we commit mistakes, sometimes those mistakes can be rectified but some of the mistakes can never be rectified no matter how hard we try. So, in that case, we have to learn to forgive ourselves for the mistakes that cannot be rectified. 

It is very important for our mental health and to live a happy life.

How to forgive yourself:

Keep your focus clear:

It is very important to have cleared focus because we keep on wandering in the past thoughts when our focus in life is not clear. So, the very first step you are supposed to take is to note down all the things you want in life and notice how different your life can be if you start focusing on a goal rather than being stuck on a mistake that cannot be rectified or changed. 

Make choice: 

We cannot change what is happening around us but ever noticed that we always have a choice to control what we think and how we adopt the things that we are surrounded by. 

When you have a choice to live your life peacefully by forgiving yourself then what is the point of staying in past and living a regretful life. 

Learn from your mistakes:

There is always something new to learn from everything if you notice it closely or deeply. Surely you cannot change the damage that has already been made but make it possible to learn from your mistakes. By doing this, you will not only learn new things but you will also start looking at your mistake as a positive one. 

This attitude will also improve your future decision-making power. 

Forgive yourself as you forgive others:

When it seems difficult to forgive yourself, imagine your reaction, how you would have reacted if the same mistake was made by someone you love the most in the world? I imagine the same when I am unable to forgive myself for something and this imagination eases me and helps me in forgiving myself.

Make peace with yourself:

Self-forgiveness is not as easy as it is saying. It takes a lot of effort to be there in the position of forgiveness. I would suggest you make peace with yourself. Have a conversation with yourself the way you have with others, talk to yourself about what is bothering you, and tell yourself that it is fine to make mistakes. 

Self-talking is a very underestimated thing in the world. Spending alone time with yourself is as important as it is to spend your time with someone you love. 

So, daily talk to yourself and try to resolve issues the way you resolve your issues with others.

Take a decision:

Taking a decision is a very crucial part of the process of forgiveness but you have to decide what you want in life and make a decision based on that. On one side, you have your whole life waiting for you to learn new things and on the other hand, you have the regret of a mistake that you made. 

I understand that letting go of the regret of a mistake is difficult, but it is worst to live a life that is full of guilt. 

Take a decision now, either your rest of the life is worth wasting on regretting that mistake or it is better to let it go? The choice is completely yours.

Stop being negative:

It is hard to let go of things when you have a negative mindset. You will never be able to bring a positive result when your mindset is negative. So, try to change yourself a bit and start bringing positive life changes.

Take professional help:

Sometimes it gets so difficult to let go of something even after years. I have seen people living with regret for the mistakes they made years ago. If you are have tried everything that was in your control and still cannot forgive yourself,  DO NOT HESITATE to take professional help. 

Many people feel ashamed of taking professional help, but I would suggest you go for it and try it at least once. It will be really helpful.

Frequently asked questions:

Why is it hard to forgive yourself? / why do I struggle with forgiveness?

One of the reasons which I think is, In our childhood days, we were told by our parents or teacher that they won’t forgive us if we made this/that mistake. So, the dilemma of making a mistake stays within us forever. We adopted that nature, and never learned to forgive ourselves. Though they never punished us hard for the mistakes we made the thought of “never forgive” stayed.

(NOTE: The above-mentioned reason is entirely my thought, there is no proven fact about it. I can be wrong about it)

Is self-forgiveness possible?

Though it is one of the hardest things to do, if taken proper steps, self-forgiveness is possible. Follow the tips I have mentioned above, they are very helpful.

How do I stop punishing myself for past mistakes?

Understand that no one in the world came with a pre-experience or notes about how to live a life. We all are living it without knowing what is going to happen next. Mistakes are nothing but a result of the choices we make. 

We all make choices on regular basis. Sometimes those choices turn out to be great and give positive results and sometimes they bring disaster in our life. 

When we all appreciate ourselves for all the good choices we make, we should also learn to accept the choices that gave negative results. There is nothing to feel bad about a mistake as far as you are ready to accept your mistake and learn from it.

Conclusion:

So, this was today’s article about, how to forgive yourself. Never expect that you would forgive yourself immediately. Self-forgiveness is a slow process and it sometimes takes a few days or months. 

So, make sure that you have enough patience that you give yourself sufficient time so that you can move on from the things that you have been holding for so long time.

I hope you like my article, do not forget to share it with your friends who you think may need it and subscribe to our newsletter for free to stay updated.

All the best for your self-forgiveness process.

Thank you. 

Also Read: How to be fearless in a difficult time?