How to communicate your needs without being needy: When a need is stepped on, it is vital to be able to talk about it. But it is something that most people either avoid or do in a way that is detaching. Empathetic communication is a skill. The following are tips to help you learn to express your needs without feeling needy.
How to communicate your needs without being needy?
It may seem obvious, but breathing helps you stay centered. To have accurate and passionate relationships, you need to have these kinds of challenging conversations. And the best part about having a challenging conversation is, they get easier with practice. You will soon become an expert who can express your needs without feeling needy.
Recognize how fearless you have already been in other areas of your life
Did you stand up at work in defense of something dear to your heart? Recall that success. Tapping into this courage will support you in your most challenging conversations.
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Believe that a solution that meets individual needs is possible
You both do not need to agree on an issue to work things out. You simply want your partner to understand that your feelings were hurt when a need was not met. People learn how to treat you based on how you support your needs. Here, mind reading does not work. The more you can stand for the things that are essential to you, the bigger the chance is that your needs will be kept and validated.
Drop your assumptions and judgments
Stop assuming things and start asking about them. Making assumptions only makes the situation and relationship worst. So, avoid it as far as it is possible.
Understand that your and your partner’s needs are equally important
Needs are the root of who you are and what drives you. If a need is pushed under the rug, it will resurface. It might come back as a passive-aggressive statement, or something more in-your-face, such as withholding ranting at your partner. So, begin with the belief that both of your needs are equally critical.
Be prepared in advance
Be clear about what you need and figure out how you will communicate it. The more clarity you have, the better it is. Having that accountability and an objective observer helps you to stay true to your intention to stay interconnected in a tough conversation.
Listen truly understand what your partner needs
When you are done saying your side of the story, it is necessary to stay open to listening to what he/she has to say. This is a dialogue, not a monologue. Try to stay genuine and not defensive when you hear the response. If you want to understand your partner, you must give him the same respect and listen carefully to his remarks.
Blame leads to being defensive or shameful. Check things out by asking questions. Keep yourself an open mind.