Why Do I Push People Away? How To Overcome It? Every Time Someone Tries To Come Close To You, Do You Feel Like Pushing Them Away? Have You Ever Seen Yourself Pushing Away People Whom You Love And Who Loves You Too? After A Point Of Time, You Feel Like You Don’t Want This Person In Your Life Anymore? Do Relations Feel Like Roller Coaster To You?
There comes a time when you understand that you have a habit of pushing people away for an unknown reason. Some people have had this habit since their childhood days, and few of them develop it with the growing age.
Every human is different. So, the reason behind this is not similar for everyone. I will tell you 12 reasons why do you push people away?
Let us now discuss.
Reasons About Why Do You Push People Away
Get Insecure easily
If you are a person who gets insecure very easily, then it is common for you to have this feeling. Insecurity is directly related to the thinking of being left alone. Whenever you have someone close to you, you don’t want them to share with anyone in the world.
When you see them getting close to someone else, you get insecure and start to think that they will leave you one day. Hence, before they reject you, you want to leave them.
You Hate Playing Games
Playing a game in relations is not everyone’s cup of tea. Many people out there love to play games in relationships, and not everyone is tolerant of such behavior. If you need clarity at every step of life and relation, and you don’t get it, then the feeling of pushing such people away is natural for you.
You Are Highly Emotional
Highly emotional people need someone who understands them and their level of emotions, who will not make them feel bad for being sentimental. Everyone has a different level of emotions, and they try to push people away when people misunderstand them.
You Hate Compromising
In any relation, compromising is a basic thing. If you are stubborn and rigid about changes and want things as they are. In that circumstance, you would hate being surrounded by somebody and push people away.
You Are Terrified About Settling Down
Some people love the idea of having someone in their life, but when it comes to settling down for their whole life, they feel terrified as they don’t want to end up with one individual staying in one place.
You Are Highly Intuitive
You push away people because you find something wrong in people immediately. It is easy for you to observe others’ behavior and intentions, and it is annoying for you to stay around such people whose purposes are wrong.
You Are Scared Of Getting Hurt
If you are someone who has been hurt earlier, then you will make sure that you don’t get hurt again. You will take every step by thinking hard, and whenever someone tries to come close to you, you blow them off, and it is not because you are not interested but because you have had a hard past.
You Have Extreme Trust Issues
Unlike others, if you don’t trust easily, you tend to push people away. Every time someone cares for you and comes close, you start having trust issues. You don’t let your walls down for anyone.
You Put Your Work First
Some people are so workaholic that they get anxious when their work doesn’t get completed on time, and when it comes to relation, they feel that relation is coming in between work. They try to push people away when they sense their work is hampering them because of personal relationships.
You Don’t Express How You Feel
When it comes to expressing to others how you feel, you feel exhausted and uncomfortable. You don’t like the idea of expressing your feelings. The feeling of getting vulnerable scares you, and you think it is better to stay alone than express your feelings.
You Have Unrealistic Expectations
Do you expect too much from people or you hate it when you get disappointed? This can also be a reason of pushing people away.
Also Read: Tips to improve emotional intelligence.
You Like To Stay Independent
You hate the feeling of being dependent on others for anything, be it financially or emotionally. When you get close to someone, you start feeling like you are getting dependent on them, which makes you feel run away from the people.
Hence these were the few reasons why you push people away, and I understand how difficult the situation is, wanting someone to stay in life while you push them at the same time, but with time and effort, you can overcome this problem. As it is an old saying: you can achieve anything once you start putting your efforts into it.
Now we will talk about how you can overcome such problems.
Some Tips That Can Support You Out To Overcome The Problem Of Pushing People Away.
# Understand Yourself
You cannot solve anything if you don’t know the problem. So, the very first step you are supposed to take in the process of overcoming this problem is to understand the issues and yourself. Notice how you react to some obstacles, and from where this feeling comes.
# Don’t Be Afraid To Open Up
Once you understand yourself, try to talk about it with the people who are close to you or who love you a lot. Not all the people who love you will understand this. But a few of them would help you to overcome these issues. You cannot solve this issue alone. You would need someone to talk about it.
# Trust People And Believe In Yourself
To be open up with people, you have to trust them first. You have to make yourself believe that trusting others is not always bad. In the world, there is an N number of trust-based relations. Moreover, there are thousands of people who find it hard to trust others, but still, they trust others because they believe in themselves that no matter what happens, they will be excellent in the end.
# Stop Expecting Too Much
Even if you consider yourself perfect, that doesn’t make everyone else perfect. Stop expecting too much from people. Life gets easy when you stop expecting too much. No one in the world is perfect, even you.
# Stop Choosing Work Over Relation
There is nothing worst about being serious about your work and having dreams but understand that at the end of life, when you will be at the death bed, what will you miss the most. Either your achievements or the memories you have spent with people? In my case, the memories. Choose for yourself now.
Life And Relations Are Never Complicated. We Make Them Complicated By Overthinking. It May Seem Too Hard To Handle Relation Now But Trust Me Once You Will Have Someone Who Understands You Better Than Anyone Else. You Will Never Regret Choosing Such Person. Think About The Bigger Picture Now.
We would like to hear from your side. Let us know in the comment section why do you push people away?
FAQ
Pushing people away is a natural protection mechanism to keep us safe from emotional harm, even when we are not paying attention. Trauma and heartache can make our emotions uncontrollable, driving us to push our loved ones away. Hence, we have already mentioned ways to stop pushing people away in the above article.
You may hurt the one who you love the most simply because they are the one who is mostly around you. Our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors are in continuous work. When we are in a bad or negative mood, we are therefore more likely to act in ways that match our emotional state. Hence, we sometimes react to our loved ones in such a way that hurts them.
Just when you have started getting closer to your partner, suddenly your partner begins to behave in ways that you started feeling like pushing them away. This distance leaves you hurt and confused. You thought the relationship was going well, but suddenly it is not. This is a sign that you have a bad habit of pushing people away. Hence, we have mentioned all the details related to why you push away the one you love above.
Pushing people away gives some people relief from anxiety. Hence, we can say, anxiety makes you push people away.
It depends upon the individual symptoms of the person. The basic term that is used to identify those who push people away from worry of being abandoned is called, “Abandoned child syndrome.”
Read more information related to it and inform them about it.
Talk to them.
Suggest they should consult a counselor.
I’m too independent I refuse help from almost everyone and don’t want to be told what to do and vey stubborn but I think I’m too old to change