Funny Confucius Quotes.

Funny Confucius quotes: Funny Confucius quotes add a touch of humor to the knowledge associated with the ancient Chinese philosopher. While these quotes may not be authentic Confucius’s teachings, they bring a smile to our faces and lighten our spirits. They playfully twist common sayings and statements, inviting us to see the world from a different perspective. Funny Confucius quotes remind us that laughter is a strong tool for connecting with others, relieving tension, and finding joy in everyday situations.

Funny Confucius quotes

• “Man who runs in front of car get tired. Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.”
• “Man who cut himself while shaving loses face.”
• “Man who fish in other man’s well often catches crabs.”
• “Man who jumps off a cliff jumps to the conclusion.”
• “Man who goes to bed with an itchy bum wakes up with a stinky finger.”
• “Man who f*rts in church sits in his pew.”
• “Man who takes sleeping pills and laxatives on the same night will wake up in deep shit.”

• “Man who goes through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.”
• “Man who sits on tack get point!”
• “Man who drops watch in a toilet has a shitty time.”
• “Man who walks through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.”
• “Man who plays with himself has a fool for an audience.”

Confucius quotes

• “Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.”
• “Man who gets kicked in the testicles left holding the bag.”
• “Man who wants a pretty nurse must be patient.”
• “Man who wants to lose weight should skip rope – not meals.”

• “Man who keeps feet firmly on the ground has trouble putting on pants.”
• “Man who cannot find a wife is not entitled to free Wi-Fi.”
• “Man who falls in vat of molten glass makes a spectacle of self.”
• “Man who puts head in the sand will get kicked in the rear.”

Funny Confucius quotes to make you laugh

• “Man who pushes piano down a mine shaft gets A-flat miner.”
• “Man who sits on track is sure to rise.”
• “Man who eats photo of father, soon spitting-image of the father.”
• “Man who plays with fire gets burnt. Man who plays with firecrackers gets blown away.”

• “Man who drives like hell, bound to get there.”
• “Man who cooks carrots and peas in the same pot is unsanitary.”
• “Man who sneezes without covering mouth spreads his blessing.”

• “Man who keeps both feet on the ground has trouble putting on pants.”

Famous funny Confucius quotes

• “Man who puts hand in pocket feels cocky all day.”
• “Man who buries himself in a haystack will soon feel the needle.”
• “Man who eats jellybean f*rt in technicolor.”

• “Man who sits on the stove gets hot a*s.”
• “Man who falls in a barrel of molasses should wipe himself off and walk tall.”
• “Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.”
• “Man who drives like hell, bound to get there!”

• “Man who walks through turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.”
• “Men who keep feet firmly on the ground have trouble putting on pants.”
• “Man who pass gas in church, sit in own pew.”
• “Man who jumps off a cliff jumps to the conclusion.”
• “Man who falls in vat of molten glass make a spectacle of self.”